feeling loved to endure all things (after miscarriage)

February 14, 2011 at 3:27 pm 28 comments

Flowers and books are among my favourite things.  Both have been a comfort over the last few weeks.  Beautiful flowers brightening up the house, precious reminder of the love with which they’ve been sent.  Finding the right book at the right time and being open to the wisdom and encouragement it offers.

We suffered an unbearable sadness this month, one I thought we’d never recover from.  I’m relieved I was wrong; our love for each other makes it bearable and we are recovering, strengthened  by the outpouring of love from family and friends.
A love that understood our need to be on our own.  A love that helps us remain connected, cherished and hopeful in spite of everything.

I’ve been reading one of George’s books, Sacred Journey by Mike Riddell, this week.  He’s vaguely waved it in my direction before but I guess it wasn’t the right book at the right time then.  Mike’s reflections on the nature of love and relationships reminded me of the commitment George and I continue to make to one another each day of our married life.  Like many people we chose 1 Corinthians 13 as a reading at our wedding – you know the one ‘Love is patient, love is kind…’.
But do you know how the rest of it goes?

”Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things’.

Never has this felt more true for George and I.   I never realised until now though how true it is of the people we’re not married to as well.  Of the loved ones who believe and hope on our behalf until we can endure it again for ourselves.

Footnote: when I wrote this post in 2011 I couldn’t bring myself to say “our baby died”.  It was too raw, too soon and too painful to for thoughts beyond the child we’d never know. It took 6 years and the healing that was our beautiful boys to write about our experience of miscarriage following fertility treatment more fully.  Our story of hope and believing that miracles do happen is captured in “writing when you’re lost for words – healing after miscarriage”.  For National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) 2018 I finally shared the whole story of Our infertility journey through PCOS to parenthood.  I hope you find some encouragement here if you find yourself on a similar journey.

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merry christmas everyone wordless wednesdays

28 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Janet/Plantaliscious  |  February 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    So sorry to hear you have experienced a deep sadness/loss. So very glad that you are finding strength to endure it through one another and through friends and family.

    Reply
  • 2. Lucy  |  February 14, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    Reply
  • 3. Bilbo  |  February 14, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    With love & hugs from Bag End :}

    Reply
  • 4. Choclette  |  February 14, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    Nic – lots of love from CT & I

    Reply
  • 5. Angela De Souza  |  February 14, 2011 at 8:24 pm

    I am so sorry for your sadness. Your post is very beautiful and clearly you know the meaning of love ❤ I pray that you experience even more love and peace in the weeks ahead.

    Love
    Angela
    xxx

    Reply
  • 6. ruth  |  February 14, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    We’re always hoping, praying and believing for you both x

    Reply
  • 7. Johanna GGG  |  February 15, 2011 at 2:23 am

    so sorry to hear life has been tough but I am glad you still have love and flowers

    Reply
  • 8. Norm  |  February 15, 2011 at 10:35 am

    So sorry to hear this. Wishing you strength.

    xx

    Reply
  • 9. Jasmin  |  February 15, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    This is a wonderful verse to find comfort and strength in and a reminder that love can carry us through each day when we don’t have the strength to do it by ourselves xxx

    Reply
  • 10. Pat  |  February 15, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Lots of little green shoots waiting for you at the plot. Also biscuits on demand xxx

    Reply
  • 11. Joanna @ Zeb Bakes  |  February 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    love from here too xxx

    Reply
  • 12. tom hayward  |  February 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    Just a repeat of the others, but with heartfelt feelings just the same. I’m sorry for your saddening experience and wish you happiness from now on.

    Reply
  • 13. Maureen  |  February 15, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Dear Nic and George
    Thank you so much for being so brave to share your sadness, your words are so full of hope and inspiration amid the sadness.
    we are all in this world, this life together and sharing the joys and the sorrows helps bring us closer
    with lots of love and a big hug
    xxx

    Reply
  • 14. Al  |  February 16, 2011 at 8:22 am

    this is a beautiful post.
    I’ve always known it and felt it, but never said it … so will say it now…
    You two are an inspiration!
    I pray, as best I can, for your happiness and joy.
    Lots of love, Al

    Reply
  • 15. Kitchen Stools Direct  |  February 16, 2011 at 8:36 am

    Sorry to hear about your tough times, but wonderful that you can get through it with love.

    Reply
  • 16. Nip it in the bud  |  February 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    dear friends, near and far,
    thank you for your kind words and for sparing a moment to reach out and share them. Much appreciated.

    lucy and angela – I thought you’d sent me an ice-cream but G, who’s much cooler than I am (I don’t have a mobile), says it’s a heart ❤ . thank you either way :o)

    Reply
  • 17. mangocheeks  |  February 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    I am so sorry to read this Nic.
    Thinking of your both at this time.
    With much fondness and love x

    Reply
  • 18. peggy  |  February 16, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    Nic, thinking of you both and I am sure your love for each other will bring you through this sad time.
    Hugs

    Reply
  • 19. Nip it in the bud  |  February 17, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    thank you both x x

    Reply
  • 20. Anna  |  February 18, 2011 at 12:28 am

    “connected, cherished and hopeful in spite of everything” 🙂
    Good to see you here, sharing and writing 🙂 Love you so much!
    You two have ‘always’ been an inspiration indeed, and your love continues to be beautifully amazing 🙂 I always hold your wedding day in my heart and memory, and its so good to see you walking everyday hand in hand through the years, the joys and the sorrows… believing, hoping, enduring and with a tenderness and soul felt joy. You are truly blessed and may you continue to be! In ALL things! You know my personal vision for you two and i pray everyday for its fruition! I believe, I hope and I love you, and with Gods grace and some reconnected time together i hope that i can endure with you also. LOVE to you both as ever x x

    “I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
    I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..
    I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
    I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
    I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…
    I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
    I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.” From Paulo Coelho blog (as recommended :))

    Reply
    • 21. Nip it in the bud  |  February 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm

      thank you dear Anna x x

      Just like a cat, I seek out the sunshine to brighten my day.
      I love the rain (in small doses!) – I’d have a thirsty garden without it.
      I choose happiness every morning, and most days happiness finds me :o)
      I feel pain because I knew joy; I couldn’t wish it away.
      I’m satisfied and thankful every day of my life with G, I knew it before but feel it more now.
      I wish for more ‘goodbyes’ (not any final ones!) for it means I’ve made time for more ‘hellos’.

      Reply
  • 22. APW  |  February 21, 2011 at 9:04 am

    What a journey life is…..
    What a blessing it is to walk the valleys with the man you were meant to walk them with!
    Hugs, Appreciative on-liner 🙂

    Reply
  • 23. Cheryl  |  February 22, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Nic,

    So sorry to hear you’ve had to start the year with sadness. It is good to hear you are finding strength with each other at a difficult time. I’m hoping as spring comes, more sunshine & warmth will help bring more happy days for you both.

    Reply
  • 24. Nip it in the bud  |  February 22, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    apw – travel companions on rocky roads always make it more bearable (unless you’re saddled with a moaner which fortunately G and I aren’t!)

    cheryl – thank you. Time moves on, seasons come and go and it’ll soon be time to start sowing this years veg. Certainly something to look forward to.

    Reply
  • 25. farewell corner plot | Nip it in the bud  |  March 9, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    […] triumphed through both harsh weather and neglect.  I planted them in March 2011 to mark the sad loss of our first pregnancy and by the time they emerged to mark the anniversary the following winter we had a newborn E with […]

    Reply
  • 26. for all who aren’t | Nip it in the bud  |  March 26, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    […] (Pictures:  Euan’s Mother’s Day card made at school – complete with sucker in the centre of the rainbow heart ”to suck all the love in for you’.  Inside he wrote ”I love you Mummy bcus you maik me my yumbox”.  Flowers above from our allotment, grown in 2011 from seeds sown in memory of our first baby) […]

    Reply
  • 27. writing when you’re lost for words | Nip it in the bud  |  August 24, 2017 at 9:30 pm

    […] express some of the sadness and support we experienced (albeit rather cryptically in a post called feeling loved). We received so many loving messages of support after sharing the news of our baby loss. I typed […]

    Reply
  • 28. bunches of cheeryuppyness | Nip it in the bud  |  August 4, 2018 at 5:16 am

    […] update – these flowers were all sent to me following our miscarriage but at the time I wasn’t able to write that. I have shared our story now in this post […]

    Reply

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About Nip it in the bud


Welcome to my blog about growing and cooking allotment veg since 2009 and growing sweet boys since 2012. Take a walk with us through our life in Gloucester with a boy, a baby and 3 cats.

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