for all who aren’t, on Mothers Day

March 26, 2017 at 2:34 pm 9 comments

IMG_20170326_102211I always wanted to be a Mother and at 23 when we got married I would have expected to be parenting children in double figures by now. Life didn’t follow the path I’d so neatly mapped out in my head and thirteen Mothers’ Days came and went before I finally got to experience my first celebration of Motherhood.  I am deeply thankful that I get to Mother my boys but I still hesitate to celebrate it proudly as I know the deep sadness many women (and indeed men on Father’s Day) feel for what lies just out of reach for them.  My first Mother’s Day would have been my second if my first pregnancy had not ended in miscarriage so on this day I think too of the Mother’s without children and the children growing up without their Mother.  This poem ”For all who aren’t” by Cheyl Lawrie speaks so beautifully of all these feelings that I have no need to write anything else!

For all who aren’t

There are few days so cruel
as mothers day

A prayer of love for those who aren’t mothers.
Today may you know all you are.

A prayer of love
for those who decided they wouldn’t
be a mother
because they dared not
for fear they would replicate a world
that tried to destroy them

A prayer of love for those who did
but not by choice
who had decision thrust upon them
and now live searching for a love
that will catch up to their truth

A prayer of love for those who couldn’t
who tried but it never worked

and for those who did,
but lost.

A prayer of love for those who never got the chance to even try
and who with all the other pain that lives inside
today bear the fear of being
someone else’s pity

A prayer of love today for those who hear the word
‘mother’
with resentment, disappointment, guilt
fear, rage, horror,
sadness, ambivalence
grief

a prayer for those who cannot love their mother
or their child
and who no longer have the strength to try

A prayer of love for those who have no day
that speaks their worth
that tells their story
that reminds them they are also gift to the world

A prayer of love for those who aren’t.
Today may you know all you are.

3-7-11 - picked allotment flowers 4B

(Pictures:  Euan’s Mother’s Day card made at school – complete with sucker in the centre of the rainbow heart ”to suck all the love in for you’.  Inside he wrote ”I love you Mummy bcus you maik me my yumbox”.  Flowers above from our allotment, grown in 2011 from seeds sown in memory of our first baby)

 

Entry filed under: home life.

an earthside birthday (41 weeks 4 days) being a Gruffalo spotter at Beechenhurst Lodge

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. whirlingstone  |  March 26, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    Tears. Love this ❤

    Reply
  • 2. Nicola  |  March 27, 2017 at 6:40 am

    This is just beautiful Nic. Hope you and the boys are well . I didn’t know you were doing this blog so hopefully now I can keep in touch with you again. Missed seeing what you are up to.
    Lots of love Nicola xx

    Reply
    • 3. Nip it in the bud  |  March 27, 2017 at 8:57 am

      lovely to hear from you Nicola. I miss hearing your news too but Facebook was driving me round the twist! There’s 9 years worth of stories on hear but much less blogging happening post children. Trying to become more regular with it, if only as an archive of family life and recipes. Look forward to hearing what you think. Lots of love x x x

      Reply
  • 4. Introducing Mummy by 6 year old Euan | Nip it in the bud  |  March 11, 2018 at 11:24 am

    […] 2018 feeling so grateful for my children but feeling fully aware how hard this day is for others. I wrote a blog post last year that you might like if you know someone who struggles on this day and would appreciate knowing they […]

    Reply
  • 5. say it with flowers on Mother’s Day | Nip it in the bud  |  April 11, 2018 at 10:58 am

    […] Special thoughts today for mothers without children and children without mums. […]

    Reply
  • 6. Lori  |  May 9, 2018 at 6:19 pm

    This is beautiful! We are all “Moms” in some way or another. We influence the lives of the children around us. No matter if we are sisters, aunts, daughters, or friends – Our influence can be powerful!

    Reply
    • 7. Nip it in the bud  |  May 9, 2018 at 8:22 pm

      thank you Lori, I couldn’t agree more :o) I was a very Mother-y aunty long before I was blessed with my boys

      Reply
  • 8. Valerie @ThreeClementines.com  |  May 9, 2018 at 6:48 pm

    Such a beautiful post and poem! Coming from someone who had fertility issues, I know how difficult it can be! Thanks for sharing! #wanderingwednesday

    Reply
    • 9. Nip it in the bud  |  May 9, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      thank you for visiting to comment Valerie. So pleased your journey had a happy ending too

      Reply

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About Nip it in the bud


Welcome to my blog about growing and cooking allotment veg since 2009 and growing sweet boys since 2012. Take a walk with us through our life in Gloucester with a boy, a baby and 3 cats.

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I love how an ordinary moment frozen in time by the camera can actually reveal so much. Luca is all about inhabiting his body and jumping, running and climbing. Euan is all about the quirkiness, curiosity and inventions. There's more about these best friend brothers on the blog in this month's #siblingsproject post #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog
This little one is negotiating hard to get out of food shopping with me. Even saying that poor Daddy will be hungry if we don't restock the fridge isn't working. Apparently Daddy will be fine eating a wooden mushroom while L watches telly! #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog #toddlerantics💜
#mischiefmakers #summerreadingchallenge starts today - you can find out more at your local library. E was excited to sign up and work towards earning his medal. There are some great activities taking place in Gloucestershire libraries this summer. #welovereadingbooks #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog
I'd love a packet of crisps the size of a pillow case to make the same toddler-to-Doritos bag ratio. #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog #toddlerliferocks
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I love finding pictures on my phone I'd forgotten about that remind me of a really special time with my boys (the Project Pilgrim celebration at @GlosCathedral a couple of weeks ago) #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog
Love this kids creativity - there's only so many times you can tolerate your little brother interrupting your game of giant Connect 4 after all! #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog
L fell asleep in the car today and stayed asleep when I got him out. I took this picture thinking I'd savour the moment and then wake him so that bedtime wouldn't be messy but just look at that face, I couldn't. So I enjoyed the cuddle instead and he's now snoring blissfully beside me again. Trust your baby, he knows what he needs 😴 #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog

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