for all who aren’t

March 26, 2017 at 2:34 pm 5 comments

IMG_20170326_102211I always wanted to be a Mother and at 23 when we got married I would have expected to be parenting children in double figures by now. Life didn’t follow the path I’d so neatly mapped out in my head and thirteen Mothers’ Days came and went before I finally got to experience my first celebration of Motherhood.  I am deeply thankful that I get to Mother my boys but I still hesitate to celebrate it proudly as I know the deep sadness many women (and indeed men on Father’s Day) feel for what lies just out of reach for them.  My first Mother’s Day would have been my second if my first pregnancy had not ended in miscarriage so on this day I think too of the Mother’s without children and the children growing up without their Mother.  This poem ”For all who aren’t” by Cheyl Lawrie speaks so beautifully of all these feelings that I have no need to write anything else!

For all who aren’t

There are few days so cruel
as mothers day

A prayer of love for those who aren’t mothers.
Today may you know all you are.

A prayer of love
for those who decided they wouldn’t
be a mother
because they dared not
for fear they would replicate a world
that tried to destroy them

A prayer of love for those who did
but not by choice
who had decision thrust upon them
and now live searching for a love
that will catch up to their truth

A prayer of love for those who couldn’t
who tried but it never worked

and for those who did,
but lost.

A prayer of love for those who never got the chance to even try
and who with all the other pain that lives inside
today bear the fear of being
someone else’s pity

A prayer of love today for those who hear the word
‘mother’
with resentment, disappointment, guilt
fear, rage, horror,
sadness, ambivalence
grief

a prayer for those who cannot love their mother
or their child
and who no longer have the strength to try

A prayer of love for those who have no day
that speaks their worth
that tells their story
that reminds them they are also gift to the world

A prayer of love for those who aren’t.
Today may you know all you are.

3-7-11 - picked allotment flowers 4B

(Pictures:  Euan’s Mother’s Day card made at school – complete with sucker in the centre of the rainbow heart ”to suck all the love in for you’.  Inside he wrote ”I love you Mummy bcus you maik me my yumbox”.  Flowers above from our allotment, grown in 2011 from seeds sown in memory of our first baby)

 

Entry filed under: home life.

an earthside birthday (41 weeks 4 days) being a Gruffalo spotter at Beechenhurst Lodge

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. whirlingstone  |  March 26, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    Tears. Love this ❤

    Reply
  • 2. Nicola  |  March 27, 2017 at 6:40 am

    This is just beautiful Nic. Hope you and the boys are well . I didn’t know you were doing this blog so hopefully now I can keep in touch with you again. Missed seeing what you are up to.
    Lots of love Nicola xx

    Reply
    • 3. Nip it in the bud  |  March 27, 2017 at 8:57 am

      lovely to hear from you Nicola. I miss hearing your news too but Facebook was driving me round the twist! There’s 9 years worth of stories on hear but much less blogging happening post children. Trying to become more regular with it, if only as an archive of family life and recipes. Look forward to hearing what you think. Lots of love x x x

      Reply
  • 4. Introducing Mummy by 6 year old Euan | Nip it in the bud  |  March 11, 2018 at 11:24 am

    […] 2018 feeling so grateful for my children but feeling fully aware how hard this day is for others. I wrote a blog post last year that you might like if you know someone who struggles on this day and would appreciate knowing they […]

    Reply
  • 5. say it with flowers on Mother’s Day | Nip it in the bud  |  April 11, 2018 at 10:58 am

    […] Special thoughts today for mothers without children and children without mums. […]

    Reply

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About Nip it in the bud


Welcome to my blog about growing and cooking allotment veg since 2009 and growing sweet boys since 2012. Take a walk with us through our life in Gloucester with a boy, a baby and 3 cats.

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The boys and I had the most gorgeous morning at the allotment. I was pleasantly surprised how much we achieved despite a wandering toddler. We returned with lovely forced pink rhubarb from our plot grandad Dave and also some greener rhubarb from our old plot neighbour. #nipitinthebudblog #gloucesterlife #allotmentgardening #growingwithkids #pinkforcedrhubarb
So happy and proud of the infinity Lego cube he's just made. Thank you @sarahfrugalfunforboys for the inspiration and video link #welovelego #gloucesterlife
Not a bad view for my walk home after singing with @musicalgeorgemoorey . I agree with the graffiti! #nipitinthebudblog #gloucesterlife #loveglos @gloucestercathedral
Wow, what a way to spend an hour, singing our hearts out on George's final #spacesgloucester recording. So proud of this guy and the beautiful music he's made in collaboration with some other beautiful musicians #gloucesterlife #lookcloserlistendeeper
A beautiful bright sunny evening and I'm excited to be joining @musicalgeorgemoorey here for the final recording of his #spacesgloucester music project.
NOURISH for #mindfulapril with @mamas_scrapbook - a scrambled egg start to my day. A carb heavy diet makes me lethargic and effects my mood so this sets me off on the right foot. Toddler L also loves it and it eases my mind about what else he eats in the day if I know he's had a good breakfast. #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog
GROWTH - day 18 of #mindfulapril. One son the size of an emperor penguin and one the size of a Gremlin! #gloucesterlife thebudblog #glou
Obsessed with anything with wheels, I turn round to see Luca has nabbed someone's scooter at the park and is legging it! #gloucesterlife #nipitinthebudblog #scootingtoddler
Well this has been interesting! After a conversation with @pocketfulofconkers I did a Myers Briggs personality test and it seems to be pretty accurate (ISFJ 'Defender'). Do you know your personality type? How has it helped you to understand yourself or the challenges you have with others? #nipitinthebudblog #gloucesterlife #myersbriggspersonalitytype
BREATHE - day 17 of #mindfulapril. 6 years old and so happy to be doing this for the first time. His nearly 2 year old brother would try it right now if only he could reach! I'm definitely go to have to learn to pause and breathe when he's bigger. #nipitinthebudblog #gloucesterlife #mumbloggeruk
#mindfulapril day 16 - LIGHT. Luca, our little "bringer of light" bored of life on the outside when he was just a day old. Crazy to think he'll be two in just over a week. He brings us so much joy but is also a good metaphor for accepting the shadows that come with the light (aka he's a right monkey!) #nipitinthebudblog #gloucesterlife #lucabringeroflight
Missing this fella now he's back at school today. We'd happily go to @wwtslimbridge every day if we home schooled! #nipitinthebudblog #gloucesterlife #loveglos #slimbridgewwt #outdoorexplorers #mumbloggeruk

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