This week has been full of ”this time last year…” moments as we approach L’s first birthday (and mumbling, mostly to myself, ”I just can’t believe it, how can he be one soon?”.) We’re on the cusp of toddlerhood and while memories of life before L joined us are becoming hazy, it really does feel like his first year has passed in the blink of an eye while being filled with so many memorable moments. It’s been delightful seeing his beautiful, sunny personality emerge. If ever pictures could speak words it’s these of lovely Luca, our absolute ”bringer of light”.
I’m still trying to get more veggies into my life! Some days are more successful than others and I’m learning to over estimate the amount of fresh produce I need to eat to feel satisfied and double up quantities. I made this coleslaw by magimixing a red onion, a hunk of white cabbage, 3 carrots and a beetroot. I’d forgotten that I had run out of mayonaise so reached for some yoghurt instead. It was actually rather delicious with this Rachel’s Greek Style Ginger Yoghurt.
Luca rather liked it too (and getting so messy of course).
Second babies eh, not afraid to try anything!
We’re lucky enough to live within 30 minutes drive of some of the most beautiful woodlands in the UK. Yesterday we had a fabulous afternoon following the Gruffalo trail at Beechenhurst Lodge in the Forest of Dean with Nana and Grandad. If you download the Gruffalo Spotters app to your phone you can point the app at special markers on the trail and watch the characters from The Gruffalo come to life!
(our app crashed on the final character, the Gruffalo, but we didn’t mind. It was such a lovely day out we’re excited about returning when G is free to join us).
I always wanted to be a Mother and at 23 when we got married I would have expected to be parenting children in double figures by now. Life didn’t follow the path I’d so neatly mapped out in my head and thirteen Mothers’ Days came and went before I finally got to experience my first celebration of Motherhood. I am deeply thankful that I get to Mother my boys but I still hesitate to celebrate it proudly as I know the deep sadness many women (and indeed men on Father’s Day) feel for what lies just out of reach for them. My first Mother’s Day would have been my second if my first pregnancy had not ended in miscarriage so on this day I think too of the Mother’s without children and the children growing up without their Mother. This poem ”For all who aren’t” by Cheyl Lawrie speaks so beautifully of all these feelings that I have no need to write anything else!
For all who aren’t
There are few days so cruel
as mothers day
A prayer of love for those who aren’t mothers.
Today may you know all you are.
A prayer of love
for those who decided they wouldn’t
be a mother
because they dared not
for fear they would replicate a world
that tried to destroy them
A prayer of love for those who did
but not by choice
who had decision thrust upon them
and now live searching for a love
that will catch up to their truth
A prayer of love for those who couldn’t
who tried but it never worked
and for those who did,
A prayer of love for those who never got the chance to even try
and who with all the other pain that lives inside
today bear the fear of being
someone else’s pity
A prayer of love today for those who hear the word
with resentment, disappointment, guilt
fear, rage, horror,
a prayer for those who cannot love their mother
or their child
and who no longer have the strength to try
A prayer of love for those who have no day
that speaks their worth
that tells their story
that reminds them they are also gift to the world
A prayer of love for those who aren’t.
Today may you know all you are.
(Pictures: Euan’s Mother’s Day card made at school – complete with sucker in the centre of the rainbow heart ”to suck all the love in for you’. Inside he wrote ”I love you Mummy bcus you maik me my yumbox”. Flowers above from our allotment, grown in 2011 from seeds sown in memory of our first baby)
Whenever I ask G to take a specific picture for me he knows I’ve got some kooky idea in my head and that his snap probably won’t match the one I’ve already got in mind. These photos were an attempt to recreate the last one of me with bump and E, taken the day I went into hospital to have L. We weren’t bouncing on a birth ball this time round so the background turned out differently and E wasn’t feeling the camera love in quite the same way after a busy day at school but the result is rather lovely nonetheless (thank you G). And the occasion for this particular snapshot? Luca’s earthside birthday which marks the same number of days spent earthside as I spent carrying him in my tummy. (That’s 41 weeks and 4 days to those of you, who like me, can hardly believe 9.5 months have passed already).
I hadn’t heard of an earthside birthday before a Mum in Australia referred to it on her Instagram page. It’s a shame I didn’t know about it for E’s earthside date but scanning my photo archive he would have looked like this at 41 weeks + 5 days…
There’s certainly a striking similarity between the brothers still but marked differences in their hair! How blessed we are to have these gorgeous little humans in our life.